I Still Need My Father

Driving always gives me time to think and pray about the things that have been occurring in my life. Today as I started my 8 hour journey north God and I had a little chat. This semester has been extremely emotionally challenging and for the majority of the semester I turned to God to help me get through the tough times, right up until everything exploded and I began to heal again. I was reading my bible every night, doing multiple daily devotional, spending a significant amount of time in prayer, attending weekly bible study, and having in depth conversations with fellow Christians, all of which was truly helping me grow in my walk with Christ. But, as I began healing from the stress that I faced these past few months all of those things began to fall to the wayside. I was so emotionally exhausted that I essentially began putting off my walk with Christ. This morning during my prayers I asked God what I needed to do and for him to help guide me to get my walk back on track. A moment later the song Fix My Eyes comes on the radio. I just smiled and said, “I hear ya, Father.”

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me.” Psalm 138:7

Time doesn’t heal us, God does. I had made the tragic mistake of focusing on healing instead of serving my Father and I overlooked the fact that serving Him would heal me. I prayed to be shown what to do, what to say, how to act and through this song God showed me that too: “Love like you’re not scared, give when it’s not fair, live life for another, take time for a brother. Fight for the weak ones, speak out for freedom, stand tall but above it all fix my eyes, my eyes on you.”

When we fail to put God #1 we miss out on, or prolong, the blessings that He has for us.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” Psalm 37:4-5

No matter how many times I try to do things on my own I always come to the same conclusion: I am always happier when I do everything with God, in his way, in his time. Everything always works out according to his plan. Although, remember to keep an open mind, often his plan is different than our own.

“A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

I never thought in a million years I would end up in Las Cruces; 12 hours from everyone I love. Although I fought it, God made sure I made it here. I have learned so much from this journey, made some amazing friends, and grown way more through this transition than I could have ever imagined.

“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8

I have found that Cruces is a blessing and there is a reason that God wanted me here. No, life isn’t troublesome free but it never will be. There will always be challenges to face in our lives. Our attention will always be spread between careers, loved ones, making ends meet, and the curve balls life tends to throw at us. But if we turn to God for every situation in life we will handle these situations much more gracefully.