For Better or For Worse…

I was talking with a friend the other day; the topic? Divorce. Both her and I came from together families and we recently had both experienced the ‘divorce is almost inevitable nowadays’ attitude. Both her and I didn’t understand this. I never once heard my parents use divorce as a threat. Matter of fact I can’t remember a time the word was ever said, in reference to each other, even as a joke. My Sunday school teacher always told us girls the ‘D’ word should never be allowed in our future homes. The divorce rate has increased with over 800,000 divorces annually (CDC, 2014). Marriage doesn’t quite seem to have the sanctity it once did. “For better or worse…. In sickness and health ’till death do us part,” anymore, are words that are merely repeated, not from the heart. Though, people don’t realize that whilst saying them. By no means am I degrading those who have gone through a divorce, as a spouse or child, but in order to fix a problem we have to address the issue. Here’s what I mean: it takes two people who are equally committed to each other to make things work. I’ve always been told it isn’t 50/50 it’s 100/100. There will be times one has to carry the other, but in the end, the effort should be the same. There will be bad times and struggles throughout life but the promise of “for better or for worse” should stand strong. What does this mean for those of us who are still dating? It means look for people who will uphold those values and put in the same amount of effort as you are. Are you and your relationship a priority to them? Do you communicate about the issues you experience or when they do something you don’t like? If they hurt your feelings, do they apologize or just wait until the smoke settles? Are they lazy or would they do whatever they had to to make ends meet and take care of their loved ones? I could go on but you got my point. In order to prevent divorce you not only have to put in equal effort and take your vows to heart but you have to look for values in a person that would make them a great spouse. If it’s bad now prior to marriage, odds are it will stay that way. What an awful life to lead. Do not go into a relationship with the expectation that they will change for you. Seldom does that occur. People do grow up, mature, and learn from their mistakes but MAJOR changes are unlikely to happen. This is my goal when dating: I want to build the foundation of our relationship on rock not sand and that starts with God. 
 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” Matthew 7:24-27
So far for me, it’s only been sand and when the water rose the foundation washed away. Take the necessary steps when in the dating scene to find someone who is willing to put the extra effort required to build a rock foundation and if you find that the foundation was sand, be strong enough to let it wash away. 


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