Old Fashioned

You are a daughter of Christ, do not forget that you should be treated like one.

Someday there will be a little girl who follows you around. She looks up to you and aspires to be like you. She pays attention to your every move, even when you don’t realize it. She may even call you mommy, aunt, sister, or she may just be someone special. Everywhere we go, everything we do is setting an example for this little person. They are impressionable. We face so many challenges these days with young girls not thinking they’re, good enough, pretty enough, or skinny enough and those little girls pay attention to how we view ourselves and can pick up bad habits if we are not careful. There was a study done that showed that daughters criticized their body in the same way they overheard their mothers criticizing their own bodies but that isn’t the only thing these young girls pay attention to. They also pay attention to how the men in our lives treat us. If these young girls grow up seeing men not express the chivalry that was long ago a society standard then they are more likely to think that the modern treatment of women is more acceptable because it is what they have seen.

Women this means that as a generation we must look for a man who values us as daughters’ of Christ and treats us as God would want us to be treated. Getting the car door, making a phone call instead of texting, walking on the roadside, and walking to the door to pick you up for a date are not gestures of the past and they are not that difficult. Yes, I am old fashioned. My grandpa would get on to men for cursing in front of us women. I was probably born in the wrong era but I am also encouraged to bring back the standards that have fallen to wayside. I envision someday a man meeting with my father to ask for my hand in marriage. I envision a man who treats me in a manner that makes his daughter want to “marry daddy” when she grows up. But that starts with us. It starts with prayer and asking God to send men of God our way who have been taught respect and chivalry. It starts with holding ourselves to a Godly standard and requiring the men who pursue us to meet that standard. I hope to be the cute old couple in the Walmart parking lot grinning from ear to ear as my husband still gets the door for me some 40 years later. Act like a woman of Christ and God will certainly send you a man of God. Those men are out there; just wait for God to send them your way.

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25

“An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.”
Proverbs 31:10,26-31

I Fear for the Likes of my Generation

As a young dating adult I am slightly intimidated by the odds marriages have of surviving these days. I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge but the thing with marriage is it takes two people with the same heart and desire to do whatever it takes to make things work. The majority of the research I’ve read claims that 50% of marriages are expected to end in divorce, something that has haunted me as I have begun to think about that part of my life.

I was fortunate enough to come from a home where my parents did everything they had to to make it work. They set a great example for my brother and I to look on. I realized at one point that I came from a family who would rather fix things than throw it away. For the people who know my family and I, I’m sure they would tend to agree by the amount of broken down equipment found around our place that hasn’t been fixed just yet.

Yes, I have my parents to thank for a wonderful upbringing but I’m frightened at the thought that someone else may not have the same mindset as me and my family; those kind of people are becoming harder and harder to find.

As I began adulthood my dad told me that everyone of my decisions from this point forward affects my future family and that remains in the back of my mind as I make life choices. For these reasons I have begun praying for my future marriage. I pray that God sends me someone who will put God #1 and his family #2. Someone who is the Christian leader of our household. I pray God sends me someone tough enough to take care of his family and the hurdles life throws at him, yet gentle enough to dry his daughter’s tears. A man who will show her how she should be treated and how his son should treat a woman by treating her mother with the utmost respect. But I am concerned for the people of my generation. I am concerned that they have grown too accustomed to thinking there’s always greener grass on the other side of the fence when problems arise. I’m concerned that they don’t know how to put others before themselves and I’m concerned that they don’t know how nor want to fix things when they’re broken. I’m concerned, that by my parents definition, the people of my generation do not know how to love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I know that all things will work together for good of those that love God (Rom. 8:28) and so I believe that God will put that kind of man into my life but I encourage other young adults to begin praying for your future spouse. God molds and shapes us into the people he desires us to be by taking us through the valleys; pray that your future spouse makes it through those valleys. Pray that their heart is open to receive God’s corrective guidance and ultimately his abounding blessings by putting someone as wonderful as you in their life.

Love,

Shiann